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Correction/Gap year

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Gap year
Message de bluejean posté le 11-10-2015 à 11:37:39 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je dois, pour jeudi, faire un DM d'anglais. Ce DM consiste à raconter sa "gap year" (année à l'étranger dans le but de faire du bénévolat). Il faut parler de ses appréhensions avant de partir, de ce qu'on a fait là bas et de notre ressenti aujourd'hui en utilisant les temps du passé.
J'ai fini mon DM et j'aimerais savoir si il était possible que quelqu'un y jette un coup d’œil afin de me dire votre avis, mes erreurs..etc.
Merci beaucoup par avance.

I had chosen to spend my gap year in Peru at the Taricaya's nature reserve, near the Amazon rain forest to do some volunteering. My goal was to take care of animals and I had thought it would be a great experience. Moreover, I had been really intrigued by this coundtry and this project seemed to be made for me as i had always loved animals and travels. I had been really stressed the week before my departure since I had dreaded the homesickness and had feared the living conditions. Besides, I had been afraid to forget some important things and airplanes travels had always been my biggest fear. As a result, I had found mysel carrying out an investiagtion into my next trip. I had discovered that Peru was a safe country and was reassured. The following week, I was in the plane.

I honestly can't find the words to explain how great this experience was. The staff was absolutely amazing during my stay and i spent a good time by their sides. I had the chance to live with some others very nice volunteers. Furthermore, the landscapes were wonderfuk. Although the bedroom was basic and the water was cold, I was quickly adapted to this life. There was so many things to do so I couldn't be bored! Indeed, there were around forty animals: birds like parrots and toucans, monkeys, tapirs andb even jaguards!

On mornings, I had to collect poo, clean cages, prepare food and feed the animals. Afterwards, I had to fix some cages and sometimes, I hade to take part in vaccinations or cares. The best part of all these duties was certainly the "reintegration part" as it was really moving and beautiful to see all these animals return to wildlife. It was really cool to feel useful. During these months, I had many opportunities: I found myself face to face with a monkey while i brushed my teeth and I carried a snake. I was frightened. However, I did it and it was actually pretty fun!

Spending time with these people and these animals was incredible. These months were rewarding. I met amazing people, discovered differents ways of life and I have gain a lot of maturity. I know now that we don't need as much as I thought to be happy. Volunteering abroad is definitely a once in a lifetime experience and it's unforgettable. I'm already thinking of another trip and all I can do is advising you to do the same!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-10-2015 12:13


Réponse: Correction/Gap year de gerondif, postée le 11-10-2015 à 18:26:21 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Texte intéressant. Bon anglais pour quelqu'un de 16 ans, bonne maîtrise des temps.
Erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert

I had chosen to spend my gap year in Peru at the Taricaya's nature reserve, near the Amazon rain forest to do some volunteering. My goal was to take care of animals and I had thought it would be a great experience. Moreover, I had been really intrigued by this coundtry and this project seemed to be made for me as i(majuscule) had always loved animals and travels. I had been really stressed the week before my departure since I had dreaded the homesickness (maladroit, ce nom, soit virer le the, soit dire being homesick) and had feared the living conditions. Besides, I had been afraid to forget(of + ing) some important things and airplanes travels had always been my biggest fear. As a result, I had found myself(on dirait plutôt: I ended up + ing) carrying out an investiagtion into my next trip. I had discovered that Peru was a safe country and was reassured. The following week, I was in the plane.(on met on devant les moyens de transport publics communs: on a plane, on a bus, on a train....)

I honestly can't find the words (expression: I am at a loss for words to explain) to explain how great this experience was. The staff was absolutely amazing during my stay and i spent (I had) a good time by their sides. I had the chance(au sens de opportunity?) to live with some others(adj invariable) very nice volunteers. Furthermore, the landscapes were wonderfuk. Although the bedroom was basic and the water was cold, I was quickly adapted to this life. There was(pluriel) so many things to do (on attendait that)so I couldn't be bored! Indeed, there were around(plutôt aboutaround a le sens de "vers, about a le sens de "environ")) forty animals: birds like parrots and toucans, monkeys, tapirs andb even jaguards!

On mornings (In the morning), I had to collect poo, clean cages, prepare food and feed the animals. Afterwards, I had to fix some cages and sometimes, I hade to take part in vaccinations or cares. The best part of all these duties was certainly the "reintegration part" as it was really moving and beautiful to see all these animals return to wildlife. It was really cool to feel useful. During these months, I had many opportunities(mot inadéquat. Vous voulez parler de frightening experiences?): I found myself face to face with a monkey while i brushed(prétérit en ing) my teeth and I carried a snake. I was frightened. However, I did it and it was actually pretty(sonne bizarre devant fun, parce que pretty devrait qualifier un adjectif (it was pretty difficult) et que fun est un nom: it was a lot of fun) fun!

Spending time with these people and these animals was incredible. These months were rewarding. I met amazing people, discovered differents ways of life and I have gain(participe passé) a lot of maturity. I know now that we don't need as much as I thought (il faudrait dire cela plus clairement,peut être en faisant apparaître le mot money) to be happy. Volunteering abroad is definitely a once in a lifetime experience and it's unforgettable. I'm already thinking of another trip and all I can do is advising(infinitif complet) you to do the same!



Réponse: Correction/Gap year de bluejean, postée le 11-10-2015 à 19:22:01 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Merci beaucoup pour toutes ces corrections et tous ces conseils qui me seront je pense, bien utiles.




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