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Correction/amélioration

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/amélioration
Message de benjaminmuneret posté le 27-03-2017 à 14:20:07 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais beaucoup améliorer et corriger ce texte s'il vous plait,
merci beaucoup d'avance !

DIWALI
1.
The celebration of Diwali is originated in Indian Mythologie.
According to the Râmâyana, the young prince Rama decided to fight Ravana who is a devil.
After fourteen years of exil, he succeded to bring down him thus saving his beautiful wife Sita.
Twenty days later, Roma and Sita returned in their kingdom.
The inhabitants illuminated thecity of millions of small flames, to congratulate them and of their indicate the way.
Diwali was born from the label of the hapiness and the division.

2.
We can see in this picture a beautiful temple filled the candles with three statues at the bottom of the temple which represent of persons.

3.
The progress of the celebration follow a precise calendar.
In india the homes and shops have to be welcoming, clean and bright.
All this to pleasing a Lakschmi, godesse of fortune and beauty which hates darkness we buy if the dishes fresh, the silver objects abd beautiful clothes.
To mention the necessary firewoks and tinsel.
Diwali is a celebration which allows to forget the conflict and of all meet between friends and eat in joy and good humor in a temple.

4.
I choose the celebration beceause i think origin the celebration very interesting.
I also chose it Diwali beaceause Diwali is similar a christmas celebration.
I find that the lights and the decorations are very attractive.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 27-03-2017 14:23


Réponse : Correction/amélioration de here4u, postée le 27-03-2017 à 15:31:13 (S | E)
Hello !

DIWALI
1.
The celebration of Diwali is originated in/from Indian Mythologie.
According to the Râmâyana, the young prince Rama decided to fight Ravana who is= tense? a devil.
After fourteen years of exil, he succeded to bring down him thus saving his beautiful wife Sita.
Twenty days later, Roma and Sita returned in their kingdom.
The inhabitants illuminated the/city of millions of small flames, to congratulate them and of their indicate the way.
Diwali was born from the label(ar you sure?) of the hapiness and the division.(not sure I understand!)

2.
(We can see)In this picture XXXXXwe can see a beautiful temple filled XXXX the candles with three statues at the bottom of the temple which represent of persons.people? can't you be more specific?

3.
The progress of the celebration follow a precise calendar.
In india the homes and shops have to be welcoming, clean and bright.
All this to pleasing a Lakschmi, godesse of fortune and beauty which hates darkness we buy if the dishes freshrevoir la phrase ..., the silver objects abd beautiful clothes= les compléments ... qui doivent suivre le verbe! .
To let's mention the necessary firewoRks and tinselS.
Diwali is a celebration which allows people? to forget the conflictS and of all meet between friends and eat in joy and good humor in a temple.

4.
I choose the(this?) celebration beceause i think its origin the celebration very interesting.segment à revoir!
I also chose it Diwali beaceause Diwali is similar aTO christmas celebration.
I find that the lights and the decorations are very attractive.




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